Letting go vs resistance
Life is change, yet we create our lives around the thoughts that we should resist change. Krishnamurti had a good way of explaining it. He told a story about how we actually are a drop of water, flowing from little creeks to rivers. Then suddenly after a few bumpy moments of curves and stones, we decide it is safer to live in a little pool next to the river. But in order to live in the little pool, we need to work hard because the water will evaporate, so we end up working a job to fill up the little pool. All of this because we are afraid of what might come in the river. Because we can only see one step ahead, we have no idea that the rivers will become bigger and bigger until we reach the ocean.
Imagine going back thousands of years. Humans were living in forests as hunter gatherers, everything was fine, until someone injected fear in us, telling there might not be enough next year. (again, fear is always related to the inexistent future.) After everybody was injected with fear, they decided to start agriculture. The first jobs came into existence. Soon the agriculture farms became bigger and they had to cut down many woods that supplied food for the hunters and gatherers. After a while they needed a system of language to communicate, the invention of writing came into existence. Later on many people were doing side jobs like administration or working in the council. Because these jobs didn’t create food, they needed a way for them to have access to the food supply. Money and taxes were invented. Shortly after, they found themselves to have created more problems than solutions, a government was needed to deal with the negative consequences of greed, monocultures, an unnatural diet and many other negative consequences. Laws were made, kingdoms founded and the war over territory started. Then one day you find yourself working behind a computer all day long. Buying a non-stick pan created by the factories that are dumping chemicals in nature. Feeling unhealthy because of an unnatural diet, looking for escapism from unconscious negative feelings and generally feeling like something is wrong.
You can see our whole society is based on the primal fear of not having enough. Even today, when we throw away an insane amount of food, we still keep on pretending there isn’t abundance. Every solution will create multiple problems. In a chronic state of dissatisfaction, it takes courage to realise the initial problem wasn’t actually a problem, but fear. Fear prevents us from letting go and attaches us to what we don’t want. We don’t know what the future will bring. We like to hold on to what is familiar. To our comfort zones.
Crying and laughing are the best way to let go of the build-up tension. During my years of entertaining, I noticed that people start laughing when they actually are expanding their comfort zones. A joke about something completely strange doesn’t make a lot of people laugh. A joke about something that sounds just a little weird, makes us laugh. But in order to be able to laugh, you will need to feel safe. If you don’t feel safe you get scared. If you look back to some old comedy you might not even laugh once, because your comfort zone is bigger than the average comfort zone at that time. As long as we continue laughing we are expanding as a species. Some stand-up comedians have gotten to the edge of possible laughter in their genre. Using more bad language will only make it become a curse show or people just stopped laughing at their jokes. The acts of the comedian have gotten part of their comfort zones. The comedian has become obsolete and is no longer of value. A sad thing for him on one level, but on a deeper level a huge accomplishment for humanity.
People confuse crying with weakness, is it weak to let go of some tensions? Or is it actually the best thing to do? It comes naturally, so why suppress it? It is a natural process of letting go, tears can say goodbye to stress, after a fight many people cry to release the anger. Not releasing the emotions is very unwise.
If you are in a difficult situation and you tried to change it via allowing and letting go, change is inevitable. But don’t expect your results too fast, instead allow it to manifest in its own time and way. If you’d set a timer on it, for example in three weeks I will become healthy, you most probably will end up disappointed. Life will always manifest itself in an unexpected way, don’t limit life by thinking on how it should happen. Let the delay surprise you with the manifestation. And it will come in an unexpected way, you know the results, you will be amazed by the way and form it manifested.
Of course we all know that control is the opposite of letting go. There wouldn’t be a need to write this down, but for all the control freaks out there: Your resistance to what you don’t like is only creating what you are trying not to manifest. Control is taking away the moments that you can actually be happy now. Control is ratio, trying to constrain future events. Thinking about anything that has to be handled in the future, probably because of a memory that something wasn’t right in the past. The idea that something wasn’t right in the past is resistance. Our thoughts are too limited to give us the full picture, so it is a limited view on what actually happened through the glasses of resistance. Some parents behave like they want so much control with and over their children. Reminding them to all things that need to be taken care of in some other time than now. Maybe this is what is left from us after we give up living by ourselves. The best advice for some parents is to let their children be an example of an easier life that was present in all of us once upon a time. Instead one might say that parenting is about passing along the state of chronic dissatisfaction with the present moment.
Safety doesn’t exist in this world. Everything is falling and falling apart. We like to hold on to theories of safety, but whatever you are holding on to will make you fall faster and fall apart faster. Every luggage we are carrying adds more weight to falling apart. But by not seeking safety you will find out that you were safely falling.
Allow yourself to be, allow everything to be, so that emptiness has its space again, and the divine energy will flow through you. A fully planned schedule has no room for unexpected events. Yet if you approach life as a computer, little joy is to be found. You will end up very busy, trying to control everything. As a consequence, life will provide you less energy. You might develop conditions, like food allergies or fatigue. And this new state of being will ask for more control. Now you have to eat specific things and cannot allow yourself to take a step back, to see whatever will be on your plate this evening. You will need to do groceries, take food with you and thus creating more tension. It will become a negative spiral and you might find yourself in bed, being ill for many years, until you have reached the bottom of the negative spiral. This will be when you are convinced that it can’t get any worse. But now, how do you move up in the spiral? Faith, emptiness and choosing different experiences by letting go!